


When the Russians uncover the Minyard-Josten rivalry (Extended)

by trispitas



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew Minyard Loves Neil Josten, Barbecue, Based on a Tumblr Post, Canon Compliant, Gen, M/M, Neil Josten loves Andrew Minyard, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Outing, Post-Canon, Professional Exy (All For The Game), Russian is not a secret language, Social Media, World Cup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29032434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trispitas/pseuds/trispitas
Summary: Carl and Bernie love Exy and are loyal followers of the Minyard-Josten rivalry.They are so obsessed, that when the Exy World Cup arrives, they invite their Russian friends over to witness the cruelty of the insults the small players interchange the whole time in a strange language.Except they don't speak a strange language.And they are not enemies.But when Carl and Bernie find out, it's already too late, and they have to keep going with the viral fuss they wake in Tik Tok.Will they survive Josten and Minyard's wrath for sharing their secrets with the world?
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 33
Kudos: 240





	When the Russians uncover the Minyard-Josten rivalry (Extended)

**Author's Note:**

> Here's to [@all.for.the.game](https://www.instagram.com/all.for.the.game/), who reposted my [headcanon](https://doodlingstuff.tumblr.com/post/639697594388496384/when-the-russians-uncover-the-minyard-josten) on IG and made some people ask for a larger fic.  
> Hope you like it!

“Pyotr! Dmitri! Yana! You made it!” 

"We wouldn’t miss the first match of the cup for anything,” Dmitri replies with his heavy accent. 

Carl was ecstatic about having his Russian friends at home. They only visited each other once or twice a year and it was getting increasingly harder to do that as life went on, but they had made an exception to watch the Exy World Cup together, as they had done in college. 

“Hey, guys! Come on in, the barbecue is ready.” Bertie barks, tongs, and sauce brush in his hands. He clearly had left alone the fire to greet the people in the entrance. 

“Yana! Thank God you’re here! I wouldn’t survive these guys’ crush without you.” Monica says, approaching the blond woman and claiming Yana as hers. 

“A crush?” Pyotr asks. 

“It’s not a crush, woman. How many times we have to explain?” Bertie gestures with the tongs at his wife. 

“You always talk about those two, like there is nothing else in the world. And you literally drool whenever they have a good play.” Monica starts elaborating as they walk the guests to the backyard. “No wonder why Sophie dumped you. Bet you said Josten’s name when you were having sex.” 

Bertie drowns a laugh as he passes ice cold beers to everyone and goes back to flip meats on the barbecue. 

“Hey! She walked away because she is nuts and you know it. And you can’t deny that save from Minyard was insane. Anyone would’ve drool.” Carl interjects to defend himself and his friend. 

Pyotr, Dmitri, and Yana are interchanging confused looks. They are true Exy fans, but they are most familiar with their national teams. 

“We don’t have a crush, we are only up to see blood spilled on the court. See,” Carl finally turns to offer an explanation to their guests. “Minyard is the best goalie and Josten is the best striker.” 

“Oh no, Jeremy Knox and Kevin Day are the best strikers.” Monica cuts. “And the hottest.” She adds lower only for Yana to hear. They both giggle and disappear inside the living room to watch the inauguration of the championship. 

Bertie rolls his eyes and takes some steaks from the grill. 

“As I was saying,” Carl talks again as he helps to throw some veggies into the fire. Pyotr and Dmitri hadn’t forgotten the good old times and start mixing vodka drinks while they listen. “They are the best players of the US Court, but they hate each other.” 

“Like real hate, man. Hate meaning I’ll skin you alive any second.” Bertie offers. 

“Yeah, they can’t stand each other. Their hate is so big that they spend entire matches shouting vile insults to one another.” 

“That bad?” 

“What do they say?” Pyotr and Dmitri ask at the same time. 

“Oh, that’s part of the point,” Bertie keeps going. “Their offenses are so damn cruel that they shout in a strange language so anyone can pick on their fights and they don’t get banned from games.” 

“It can’t be that bad,” Pyotr says. “The Moscu Warriors had something like that. A backliner didn’t like one of his subs so she broke his nose when they were changing places. She was benched for a month, and she spent it shouting to the man until she changed teams.” 

“These guys could do that any day or worse,” Carl replies, now deadly serious. “They met in college and played for the Palmetto State Foxes. Their backgrounds are darker than Bertie’s skin.” 

“Hey man! That’s racist. But you’re right. Minyard is a sociopath. He spent some time in jail, and he was medicated for years after slashing to ribbons four men outside of a club.” 

“And Josten was the son of a mob boss. He surely knows at least a dozen ways to kill a man with his bare hands.” 

“Best part is that they had been stuck with each other almost their entire careers, man!” Bertie is getting so excited that he better takes out everything from the fire to talk freely, tongs, and brush still in hand while he gestures. “They spent only like two years apart and then bam! Same pro team, and then boom! Both became Court.” 

“And they still hate each other.” Carl offers. 

Pyotr and Dmitri interchange skeptical looks and shrug. Nothing can get as violent as Russian Exy, but they will wait to see. 

“Guys, they are in for warm-ups!” Yana shouts from inside. 

The four men hurry serving plates and getting the food to the living room. By the time the coin is tossed, they are all arranged in the sofas, with plates full and drinks ready. 

“Bet five bucks Minyard’s the first one to shout,” Monica says when the players are getting into place. 

“Nah, ten bucks Josten is the first one to shout and Minyard hits him with a rebound,” Carl replies. He knows both players get in only for the last twenty minutes of both halves, so he isn’t paying much attention to the screen yet. 

“Twenty bucks one of them ends the match bleeding,” Bertie says at last while taking a bill out of his wallet. 

Carl and Monica follow placing the money on the table. 

The game is the USA against Germany. Everyone knows it’s becoming a new classic, and regardless of being the first match of the World Cup, is vicious and violent. Monica is in denial saying that if her mighty Kevin couldn’t even the score, Josten won’t either. Carl is sure he can. He is the Speedy Gonzalez of Exy. And Bertie is sure that when Minyard closes the goal, not even a fly will pass through him. 

By the time their beloved players are called inside, there is a small mountain of money on the table from all the bets that Carl, Bertie, and Monica had been throwing. Pyotr, Dmitri and Yana had remained silent, watching the match with increasing curiosity to see if the so-called Minyard-Josten rivalry is as bad as their friends paint it. It can’t be if both athletes are _so small_. But they don’t say a thing. It’s crystal clear that the three of them have indeed a serious crushwith their national players. 

Within the first ten minutes, Minyard is a statue on the goal. There is no trace of the magnificence Carl and Bertie witnessed when they went to a live match months ago. 

It is after the second goal against him is scored without effort when Josten finally snaps. 

“You said they spoke a strange language?” Pyotr asks after the first tantrum of the striker. 

“You heard him!” Carl says, heated by the match and the horrible answer that the goalkeeper will throw next. 

“Yes, we did. And that is Russian, my dears.” Yana tells them. 

“No way! You understand him? What did he say?” Bertie bolts into his seat, almost spilling his beer. 

“You said you will keep the goal shut.” 

Carl, Bertie, and Monica are about to deny what Dmitri said, but Minyard replies, and they stay quiet in favor of allowing their friends to translate. But they can’t. They are laughing. 

Carl is sure there is nothing funny about Minyard, but he doesn’t say and waits. 

“What’s so funny man? We’ve been dying to understand what they say for _years_.” 

“He-,” Pyotr takes a breath before laughing again. He breathes another time and manages to put a straight face before speaking. “He said: And you said you were picking your socks but I slipped with them in the morning.” 

They are being mocked. Without a doubt. There is no way in the world that two savage men as them can be roomies of any sort. Even for the championships abroad. However, Carl’s train of thought gets derailed when the striker answers back after intercepting an impossible rebound. The three Americans are waiting for the translation. 

“We can’t lose because of my socks, Andrew,” Pyotr says. The striker is fighting against a massive German backliner for the ball. Once he scores, he speaks again. The translation follows immediately. “I did pick them up.” 

Carl can’t believe the dialogue that follows. 

"You didn't." 

"At least I picked your sunscreen." 

"Junkie." 

"You're welcome." 

Dmitri is translating for Minyard and Pyotr for Josten, but they must be joking around as another normal talk takes place between shots, rebounds, and some yellow cards. The game is really wild, and it’s still the first half. 

"You forgot to feed the cats" Dmitri translates. Bernie starts taking out money from the pile of bets, but Monica slaps his hand away. 

"I didn't," Pyotr says when the striker answers. 

"Both will be dead when we get back." 

"Don't get the cats in this." 

There is no way a domestic talk can be going between the players. 

No. Freaking. Way. 

Carl and Bernie know everything about them. They hate each other. Since college. That was only one weird moment in their first college championship together when the goalie saved the other man from a crazy Raven striker who was about to smash his head with a racquet after they lost for the first time, but that had been what? Like six or seven years ago and it was sort of a matter of life and death. An exception. 

They hated each other. It was a fact. 

The final buzzer brings Carl back to reality. Players get out of court for half time and ads start. 

Yana is crying from how hard she is laughing. “Guys, it looks like your favorite players are flirting, not fighting!” 

The six spend the fifteen-minute break discussing what the hell is going on. In the end, Monica takes out her phone and downloads a translation app. She will be recording everything Minyard and Josten say to each other, and compare the results with the things Dmitri and Pyotr say to prove how they are cheating. Everyone agrees and stays quiet for the start of the second half. 

US is losing 5 to 8. National coaches are starting to sweat. There is almost half an hour left on the clock when they call Day, Minyard, and Josten to return to the game. Monica has the phone ready. 

Besides the drama of the players, the match is wild. Germany is at the top of their game, but so is the USA. Carl and Bernie are up, shouting and cheering their team when Minyard blocks an impossible shot. Then he throws the ball all the way to far fourth, aimed directly at Josten’s head. And he shouts. 

Both friends stop their cheering and turn to see Monica, waiting for the translation. 

Dmitri says “345%”. 

Siri says “345%”. 

No one has the slightest idea of the meaning of that. They get too distracted trying to guess when they almost don’t see a shot from the Germans missing the goal for only an inch. There is a shout from Josten. 

"You said you'll do it!" Pyotr says. 

"It wasn't a goal junkie. Breathe." Dmitri follows. 

"We're going to lose. Close the fucking goal." 

"What do I get in return?" 

"You know." 

Siri repeats the same dialogue afterward. 

The shouts are held on pause when Josten and Day break into a crazy run to snatch the ball from the Germans. Monica celebrates in delight when her favorite player scores without apparent effort. 

Joy doesn’t last much though. The German goalkeeper rebounds the ball and his team scores. Josten shouts again. No one needs the translator to find the despair in his voice. "Told you to close the fucking score." 

After that, the talk makes no sense. "Didn't hear what I gain." 

"You know what!" 

"Still don't hear it." 

"Anything." 

"In the jacuzzi?" 

"Fine. Now close it." 

And Siri confirms Pyotr and Dmitri were translating accordingly. 

The last minutes are a frenzy of crazy plays, delusional rebounds, and the Germans lose because they couldn’t score a single point more while Josten and Day became two halves of the same mind. 

But the US win wasn’t as shocking as what Carl, Bernie, and Monica heard. 

What the hell are doing mortal enemies in a jacuzzi? 

*** 

Every match is held during the weekend, so Carl has his house ready for his friends. The games are as good as anyone would expect from a World Cup, even if Bernie complained from time to time that the Super Bowl was better. Carl could argue that point, but both agreed that the conversations between Minyard and Josten made no sense thanks to Pyotr and Dmitri’s translations. 

There are fights for the cats, there's ice-cream bribing, there's talk about holidays, and house cleaning, and laundry. By the time round of 16 arrives, Carl and Bernie can’t take it anymore. They need to share this knowledge with the world and open a Tik Tok account. 

Pyotr and Carl play to be Josten. Dmitri and Bernie play Minyard. They use whatever things are scattered in the house as a mockery of Exy equipment and start recording videos replaying their conversations. First, the Russians say the original dialogue, then the English version follows. They post their videos after every game. They have fun like they hadn’t since they finished college. 

Carl is dying for the weekend to arrive. His job is boring as it had never been when his phone starts going crazy in his pocket. He thinks it’s Sophie, calling to insist again on their divorce, but no. It’s the three thousand and a half notifications from Tik Tok. 

The videos posted are going viral and the account is gaining a crazy number of followers. Carl sends screenshots to Bernie, Pyotr, and Dmitri. 

Weekend can’t arrive faster. And when it does, they have ready makeshift wigs made of red and yellow yarns, as well as tennis racquets to improve their videos. 

Between US games, Carl and Bernie go further to replay older games and “fights”. They make videos of those too and people go completely crazy on their account. They receive at least a hundred comments every day. 

At first, they consist of LOL emojis and lots of laughter. Some haters appear as it was meant to happen, but then, people start to point further details. 

Josten and Minyard also wear matching chains around their necks and black armbands below the uniform. 

Both have cats. And the backgrounds of their pictures are somehow similar. 

Carl and Bernie don’t lose a second adding that to their videos. 

By the time the final math rolls around, their Tik Tok has been featured even in the news. Carl feels like he’s floating. He is waiting more for the things the players will shout at each other, than for the match itself. 

It’s the US against Canada for gold. Pyotr, Dmitri, and Yana are mad because Russia lost in semifinals, but Carl and Bernie don’t care as long as their teams keep winning. Although Canada is having a perfect championship and things will get rough for sure. 

The starting buzzer is still roaring when bodies collide and racquets smash. The game is beyond brutality. Neither Josten nor Minyard has time to talk when they are summoned in. Carl even forgets about the videos. The game is probably the best one he has seen ever. Red cards are thrown away like confetti. Some players are making dirty moves. Blood is spilling. A player is taken away screaming in pain. If they aren’t careful, the match will end with referees peeling players from the walls. 

The game is going so fast that they can’t see what happened, but a Canadian backliner is crowding the small striker. He doesn’t look afraid despite the huge difference in sizes, but all the contrary. Josten seems ready to fight. 

Insults fly. Punches land. Racquets are thrown away. 

Players gather around their teammates, but no one dares to come closer in case they receive a deadly punch. 

Surprisingly, is Minyard the one who steps between the two. Facing Josten. He murmurs something that the microphones can’t catch, but Pyotr, Dmitri, and Yana can as they read the goalie’s lips. 

This time they don’t laugh. Josten doesn’t shout. He stares at the goalie for a full minute. Chest rising and falling quick. This is the moment when Minyard squeezes the life out of the striker, or vice versa. The Minyard-Josten rivalry is meant to end there. With blood. 

Instead, the striker nods at Minyard, and then he steps away to give the signal to resume the match. Referees can’t card anyone. The fight ended as fast as it started. 

Carl, Bernie, and Monica can’t understand what the hell just happened. They turn to look at their Russian friends, waiting for an explanation. 

“Translation?” Monica finally asks. 

Pyotr and Dmitri are still too numb to talk. Yana is the one who speaks. "I didn't marry to pick your pieces like this." 

“What? No man. No way. No freaking way! They hate each other!” Bernie starts. 

“Apparently not,” Monica says. 

“So, they are... gay?” Carl can’t believe it. His favorite players in the whole world can’t be that close. 

Faking a rivalry to gain attention? Yes, of course. It was working, but being married? They are enemies! Everybody knows that! Come on! 

“Ready for the video?” Yana brings Carl back to Earth. 

“No. No sir. I’m not standing that close to you man. No offense, but I’m married. My wife won’t approve.” 

“Bernie, don’t be a chicken. I’m here and I approve. Go finish what you started.” 

“I agree with Bernie,” Dmitri says after, looking with disgust at Pyotr. They have been friends for as long as Carl and Bernie know each other, but they have always respected their personal space. 

“And I agree with Monica. Go finish what you started my love.” Yana replied. 

The four men swallow hard. They weren’t expecting this turn of events, but the views of their channel were going to be a bomb. Fame was a treacherous thing to try. 

They record the video and upload it before the winning ceremony starts. 

It only takes fifteen minutes to clear the court, mount a podium, and bring the trophy. At the same time the US team gets ready to receive their prize, the Tik Tok account is losing it completely. 

The celebration comes and goes. The six friends now are glued to the screen, looking for hints that what they just heard is real. There is nothing. Nothing at all. 

Comments are divided between blasphemy and amusement. 

Josten celebrates with the rest of the team. Minyard waits a few steps behind. No apparent sign of any feeling for the striker, except for his usual apathy to everyone and everything. It must be a mistake. 

Celebrations are over after a while and then, the press gets their chance to walk in. Shots cut from the whole court to focus on each player interviewed. 

Monica and Yana are fluttering when Day’s face invades the TV. They shout a bit when Jeremy Knox appears by his side. 

Canadians have their turn. They come and go fast. They're in no mood for interviews. 

It’s Josten’s turn. He celebrates his team’s victory. Minyard makes way by his side just in time to hear the next questions. 

“Is it true that you two are married to each other? The Tik Tok account that has been following you dropped their version of the fight with Thompson and left us all in shock. What about the Minyard-Josten rivalry that has the world in awe?” 

Josten’s face changes in an instant. Minyard turns to look at him, but his stare is so blank that neither of the friends can’t tell what is going on inside his mind. 

“The fuck?” 

There is a hand appearing with a phone below the camera, showing the video. Carl is sweating. 

Josten. Neil freaking Josten is watching Carl mocking him. Earth can split open and swallow him now. It’s just his luck that his favorite players in the world meet him because of a silly video spreading a total lie. They can’t be married. 

The video stops. “What are your comments about this Neil?” 

Carl doesn't want to see anymore. The striker will lash out as he is famous for. Everyone knows he never skimps in words when he is offended. 

Somehow, his silence is worse. He is looking at Minyard. Carl and Bernie drop to the couch. Carl hides his face between his hands. It doesn’t matter that the notifications are chirping again. His favorite player is hating him forever. 

He hears a quiet “Yes or no?”, but he doesn’t dare to take his gaze up. He can already see the yellow envelope of a demand coming down his door. 

“Holy shit!” Monica shouts. 

“чёрт возьми” Pyotr and Dmitri exclaim shortly after. 

“Oh man, oh man! Look. Holy shit.” Bernie is shaking Carl to see the screen. 

His eyes must be betraying him. There is no lash out. No sharp tongue. No vicious reply. 

Minyard and Josten are kissing in front of the cameras. 

Holy shit indeed. 

“No comments,” Josten says when they break apart. A cheeky grin spreads through his face. 

Both players walk away from the reporters before they keep asking questions. They leave the stadium holding their pinky fingers. 

Carl will never upload a video on Tik Tok again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Comments, kudos, likes, and shares always make my life worth it 🤗
> 
> For more AFTG / TRC or if you are lonely like me, looking for a friend, come head over to [@doodlingstuff](https://doodlingstuff.tumblr.com) and [@trispitas](https://www.instagram.com/trispitas) to talk or ramble or get a glimpse of upcoming fics and fanarts.
> 
> See you there! 🧡


End file.
